When you're not "feeling it"
How to move forward, without pushing through.
Ever sit down to do the work you’ve been excited to do… and then suddenly realise you’re not ‘feeling it’?
Why is that??
For me it’s often one of, or a combination of these three things:
I’m still processing something else. And my mind isn’t focused on the task at hand. I want to be thinking about (or lost in) the other thing; not the one in front of me.
I’m procrastinating. Because, actually, the thing I had been looking forward to, is suddenly much harder than I’d anticipated… or so my brain tells me.
I’m in a low mood, or simply don’t have oodles of energy. And this makes me think I won’t have the energy or enthusiasm to get through the task at hand properly.
I’ve learned this over the years because I’ve taken the time to notice and be aware of it.
I’ve also learned that’s super helpful to be aware of why we’re not doing something; so we can then move forward with compassion and understanding.
And, 9 times out of 10, this makes all the difference in actually doing the thing in the end.
So, if you find yourself in a place where you’re not really “feeling it,” and want to move forward without having to hype yourself up, I suggest you do a brain dump.
Get your thoughts down on the page. All the things you’re currently thinking and feeling, and then go back and see what sticks out for you.
Don’t try and anticipate why you’re not feeling it. Just write down all the thoughts that come up.
Writing down all your thoughts like this will give you a much fuller picture of what’s going on. It will likely remind you you’re a human being, with human challenges and problems, and there are normally reasons why we’re not doing something 🙃
This isn’t to shame you — in fact it’s quite the opposite. The point of this exercise is to give you understanding and perspective; of what is contributing to your feelings.
The point is to give you insight into what’s going on, so you can do something in response that is helpful.
For example, if you’re tired and exhausted, you may want to adjust or re-think your plan. You may want to choose something restorative, that gives you the energy you crave.
I want to add here that changing our plans is not a cop-out. It’s a very sensible solution to a problem of not having the resources we’d anticipated. It is actually incredibly responsible (not to mention compassionate) to give yourself the time and space to work out what is going to serve you and your energy levels in the long-run.
Having said all that, you may suspect that you do have the energy, but there’s another resistance in the way.
If you’re feeling resistance, and you don’t think it’s an ‘energy problem’:
In that case, write down what you’re thinking. About yourself and the work.
For example, you might think your work isn’t good enough. Or today you don’t know what to say. You might simply think “I don’t have the energy,” or “I don’t want to,” even though you suspect that another part of you doesn’t believe this.
It’s all worth writing down; it’s all worth getting out of your head.
When we get our thoughts out of our head, we make room for new thoughts.
Changing your thoughts; one at a time.
Once you’ve written down all the thoughts you currently have, start writing down other thoughts you may also want to have about yourself and your work.
For example, I might choose to write down, “Today I am not perfect. But I am enough.”
“I can create, with what I have.”
The point is not to write down lots of thoughts we do not believe. The point is to find thoughts we can. Thoughts that are accessible to us, and that we can hold. Even if just for today.
We do not need to make giant leaps into believing. We do not need to hype ourselves up if we’re not “feeling it.”
But we can give ourselves wiggle room. We can give ourselves breathing space.
Because from here we see possibility. We can make one shift of thought, to another.
For example…
“I don’t want to do this,” becomes…
“I’m finding my thoughts,” which becomes…
“I’m feeling resistance,” which becomes…
“I don’t think I know what to say,” which becomes…
“what if I knew what to say?” which becomes…
“what if what I say isn’t perfect and that’s okay?” which becomes…
“this is enough,” and this becomes…
“I know what to say.”
And then maybe we know what to say.
Maybe we accept that it won’t be our best work and that’s okay.
Maybe we start out, imperfectly, doing the easy things first, and being okay with that.
And then maybe we do some more.
And before you know it, maybe there’s a feeling there, after all.
Not a hyped-up superwoman energy — but an energy nonetheless. An energy of, “I can do this,” “I’m happy to do this; in the state that I’m in, in the energy I’m in, in the place that I’m in. Okay.”
Give yourself room to wiggle. Give yourself room to breathe. 💛